PTSD

It's occupy again. I came across some message of social media, got updated on twitter and hooked again in tuning into tweets and feeds from a different 'corner' of our planet. This time, not the US went into the spotlight, but Europe. In Frankfurt the European Central Bank opened its new head quarters which united many Europeans to air their dissent about the wave of austerity sweeping over Europe.

I used to live in Frankfurt, and saw many familiar views in the images and streams I came across. I even used to work for the ECB, walking over red carpet into the opera house in the summer of 1998 when its birth was celebrated. I don't expect my signature to have remained in the guest book, but you'll never know.

When Occupy Wallstreet swept like a virus around the globe, it happened in Melbourne as well as in Frankfurt, and many hundred of other cities. My friends back in Frankfurt weren't too impressed by what happened then, and like, everywhere else, the occupy movement fizzled away.

Or just went into some sort of metamorphosis. Some people continued to provide community support in various ways, continued in activism for other causes, joined cooperatives, started growing food and, of course, some spend endless time licking their wound to keep them fresh.

The major cause of misery, an economic system designed to feed the rich and starve the poor, increased its potency to cause havoc among communities and mother nature. International institutions like the ECB and the ESM (European Stability Mechanism), not to mention IMF, World Bank disempower local governments to become pawns of a monetary aristocracy.

The human family, with 7 billions or even more members, deserves a better organisation of society than one which allows anyone to starve despite the abundance the planet has to offer. All forms of government have been invented by humans. We can invent something which serves everyone. Anything less doesn't make any sense.

In the beginning

Life remains a big mystery for all involved. How did we get here, how did it all begin and where does it all lead to? Many people asked these questions, and entire societies emerged depending on the answers given. While current predominantly accepted answer to these big questions seem simple, they might reflect an unhealthy tunnel vision.

How did we get here? Coincidence. The universe acts like a giant quantum computer, pre-programmed with rule sets which randomly create systems of higher complexity. Basically Newton's clockwork universe revisited, full of inevitability and determinism.

How did it all begin? Big Bang. The strictly causal universe popped out of less than nothing into existence, without cause. While everything within universe seems to follow causal relationships, universe itself lacks any cause. In other words: The existence of universe, or its origin, kind of breaks the entire rule set valid within universe.

Where does it all lead to? Entropy. Everything deteriorates, transform from order into chaos. The entire universe will run out of fuel, and collapse in itself, popping as mysteriously and inexplicable out of existence as it emerged.

This big picture of things diminishes our existence, our individuality and our consciousness to nothing but an inevitable by-product of rule-based processes beyond our intentional influence. While this concept of reality has been promoted and believed lots, it doesn't really reflect what happens.

The three questions seem to go to the core of life, the universe and everything, yet from a perspective making our existence the centre of importance of the whole universe. These questions address the 'objects' of our thinking, without addressing thinking/observing itself.

This virtual conversation could not take place without consciousness. Any word, any thought just attempts to describe the experiences available to consciousness. Please allow yourself for a moment or two to live without a concise definition of consciousness, and trust your idea of it (at least as long as you believe that you're endowed with it).

Let me now propose 'consciousness' as primary 'substance' of our universe. Like the ocean consists of water molecules, consciousness consists of 'spirit' molecules, distinct yet closely linked. Our 'self', us being represents one droplet in the ocean of consciousness. Matter as we know it emerges as consequence of consciousness, never as its cause.

It might take a bit of contemplation to shift our perspective from materialistic, deterministic object based thinking towards process-focussed thinking. The word consciousness describes a process, yet the english language lacks the precision of specific terms for different states of this process. Dhyana, samadhi, satori can not be properly translated into the language of cultures which subscribed to materialistic fundamentalism.

The western culture replaced the quest for liberation, for moksha, with the illusion of personal liberty. Like in many areas, some cleverly installed maya (illusion) suggests already 'being there', no need to move deliberately into the direction of love, compassion and understanding. The Western culture has ostensibly reached the level of enlightenment about 2 centuries ago. No worries, mate, we totally got it.

If you grew up in a culture claiming to have descended from an 'enlightened' culture, it's easy to assume that the systems in place reflect enlightened ideas. Unfortunately, the existing systems of governance and economy fail to provide access for everyone to the abundance of resources our planet offers. The firm believe that the current world is the best possible, after a quasi linear development to excellence, hinders participation in individual growth and evolution of society.

From a process-focussed perspective, change of structures of society appears natural and inevitable. The very same evolving structures have rather quality of static snapshots, gradually adjusted towards more 'efficiency' when seen from a materialistic-deterministic perspective. Considering the lack of success in making this planet work for 100% of humanity using the current systems of society, restructuring society in radical new (old) ways seems the next potential evolutionary leap.

Before I leap to far ahead, I'd like to step back a bit to introduce my understanding of the process of evolution. Individual systems combine with other other systems towards higher complexity and diversity in order to succeed coexisting within an environment. From one-cellular beings via multicellular life forms evolution increased complexity and diversity of the biosphere of Mother Earth.

As an ongoing process on all levels of life and consciousness, comparing evolution to a race to the top, with humanity as its most important outcome, makes only little sense.  Everything permanently co-evolves. Humanity's attack on biodiversity tears holes in the web of life which endanger its own existence. The temporary madness in global human interaction, war, pollution, starvation only paves the path to a massive fall of so-called civilisation.

Unless we decide to organise our support systems in ways that work for 100% of humanity, to consciously evolve our communities and ourself, we have little chance to avoid witnessing the empire falling, and taking many with it. Understanding evolution as on-going process, and not merely as propaganda tool to justify a culture of domination, can facilitate shaping our evolution of society without creating unnecessary suffering.

Heart-ripping ego-trippin

My invite to a cosmic dance

was greeted with a fighting stance

Your ego runs again the show

so I can only let you go.

When we were acting from the heart,

we had some really amazing start.

Tuning into the flow wasn't hard,

while enjoying love, life and art.

My love for you is still boundless,

yet it seems futile to address

joining our path to wholeness -

so far it produced quite a mess.

Your fierce reaction posed a real test,

I still continue to wish you all the best. 

The art of letting go

If I continue this craving 

for you, I'm only paving

myself a road to misery,

that ain't no mystery.

Instinctively, right from the start,

we connected deeply from the heart.

Soon our relation changed its kind,

and become a battle of the mind.

While I enjoyed our immersion

in soulful flow, it led to aversion.

Now, holding on to hopes in vain

will just manifest some more pain.

Whilst your ego runs the show

I can only let you go. 

Suchness

If you choose a life from the shelf

you'll block the path to your true self.

Life offers so much more variety,

than just to function in society.

Yet when your ego becomes your master,

life easily turns into a disaster.

The game of craving and aversion

prevents healthy energy conversion.

Once you tame that fearsome hungry beast

you will find true peace, at least.

You can stop swimming against the stream,

turning the re-occurring nightmare into a dream.

Don't be afraid to seek your art of living,

and life becomes the gift that keeps on giving.

To the moon!

Only a short while ago, December 6th 2013, the Dogecoin was unleashed into the shark pool of the economy. At this time of history, 1 Bitcoin hovered around the $1000 mark, with a market capitalisation of roughly one billion USD. Our current global economic system favours greed and recklessness, mainly due to its dependence on central bank money.

Cryptocoins can't eliminate greed from the equation. Greed certainly contributed to the withdrawal of a billion dollar from the corporatist market, with its rigged rules. But the origin of it, mining, creates a different set of values attached to it.

While you might find someone 'lending' you bitcoins or any other altcoin, they cannot lend it into existence, like it's the current practice in most countries. The definition of the bitcoin limits the amount to 21 million coins, some of which might already have entered a digital nirvana.

Just like cash in a wallet, you might lose your cryptocoins if you're not careful. It takes a bit of getting used to exchange digital money, and that slows down the acceptance of a new, fair monetary tool.

The bitcoin and litecoin communities have a bit of a bad reputation when it comes to mutual support and general kindness. Dogecoin has changed the scene by creating a community where giving, sharing and mutual support define its standards.

That doesn't prevent scammers to prey on the innocent. Yet the currently low exchange rate means before you collect so many dogecoins that their loss would really hurt you had enough opportunity to familiarise yourself how to safely engage with cryptocoins.

In first place, the dogecoin community seems more like a fun-based education institution, going through a collective learning process. This happens in a light-hearted manner, united by the idea to go to the moon with dogecoin.

It needed an ecosystem of cryptocurrencies to create an economical system which potentially can sustain itself. The value of each currency depends on the community which mines and uses it. One advantage remains: You get the luxury of 'electronic' banking, albeit a bit clumsy at the moment, without any more bank involved.

Triple trouble / Alexithymia

You wished me into your life,

shortly allowing us both to thrive.

Two souls connected by touch

which soon became too much.

I knew I could only lose

by giving you freedom to choose

to decide with your mind or soul

I wanted you whole, and lost all

. 

I saw you shedding some tears,

while submitting to your fears.

I planted seeds of freedom in you,
would've loved be around for harvest, too.

The mix of cheap wine and deep sorrow

now has me waiting for a better tomorrow.

Fox in socks on the rocks

You told me about your desire to heal,

but that's not really what I can feel.

You provided me often with food,

and also your fast-changing mood.

Now I stand here with an empty hand,

still don't know what I had to understand

of the obstacles created in the distant past,

which stopped the chance of our story to last.

So my heart fills again with sadness,

walking alone through a world of madness,

waiting for love's resurrection,

another heart-felt connection.

I stay connected to you, my beloved fox,

hope you're happy after putting me in a box.

Sleepless night

Your life seems like a battle for control,

there's a fight against yourself inside -

you know that fight is just not right

and asked for help to become more whole.

We were mutually attracted,

and let our defences go

connected into effortless flow -

but very soon got distracted.

Control returned with a vengeance

and demanded plenty of distance.

The old ways came back and did much

to prevent more exposure to healing touch.

The door is still open, now you decide -

No jailbreak needed, want to step outside?

Liebeskummer

Our story was too good to be true -

if only I could stop loving you!

This torturing pain could go away

and my life would again seem okay.

You brought happiness back into my life,

I'd happily have chosen you as my wife.

I had millions of things for you to give,

'cos you gave me millions of reasons to live.

Now my heart feels empty and sad,

missing the special connection we had.

I'm way to numb to start to cry

I just know that I'm ready to die.

Our story was meant to last,

can't believe it ended so fast.

See you in the next life

When we first met, 

time didn't seem to exist.

The connection we had

was sheer impossible to resist.

I dared to love again,

couldn't fathom my luck.

I forgot all the pain

which until then had struck.

When you said good bye,

I didn't go mad.

When I saw you cry,

I still felt incredibly sad.

It was over before it truly began

the end hit me just like a van.

Interim

There's some shadows of the past

which seem to want to last,

fuelling again the futile fight

for what's wrong and what's right.

The straight gait becomes a sway,

won't those shadows go away?

Won't there be eternal laughter

of being happily ever after?

One step forward, two steps back -

is it really the right kind of track?

For as long as you follow the flow

your intuition guides you where to go.

Yet for each thing you've been shown

another million things remain unknown.

Querencia

Prelude

I'm playing the game of chance,

wanting my life to advance.

I had enough of luck's wrath

Just want to peacefully walk the path.

I had my fair share of the endless fight

about what's wrong & what's right

I can no longer stay in solitude

After steady increase of amplitude.

I see the tree tremble and shake,

in the game of give and take.

Deeply rooted to Gaia's core

That what I want of some more.

Yet it seem's like my life's predicament

is to remain in perpetual movement. 

Querencia

It seemed like coincidence

a random meeting of souls,

sharing o so many goals,

It turned into a cosmic dance.

Two hearts melting together

each of us of their own kind

thinking together as one mind

touch as light as a feather.

A common love of geometry

which shapes the universe

through which we traverse

brought our dreams into reality.

We were meant for each other,

For once, I stopped to bother.

Human nature

Language acts like a virus, especially once we enter the level of abstraction. While we might learn from General Semantics, or Rene Magrittes famous painting 'Ceci n'es pas une pipe', that even words describing tangible objects fail to capture the suchness of the worded item, abstractions lead us to a dive in truly murky waters.

We pave the road to misunderstandings elegantly when talking about all sort of -isms, as no-one can define those terms with authority and accuracy, albeit many claim to do exactly that. In most real life situations, people insist that 'everyone knows' what communism, socialism, capitalism, feudalism etc. means, and whether or not one abstract category fits into another.

Unless we become aware of the inherent inability of using language to describe our individual and shared experience, we are held captive in Plato's cave, and might easily get angry at those who have seen the light of day. That doesn't stop us from attempting to communicate verbally, and luckily in a majority of cases that still works out sufficiently for survival and even enjoyment.

Since Occupy Wall Street happened, the term 'human nature' became a highly popular confusing term to argue either for or against specific ways to organise society. Although all of us have our very own way of perceiving the world around us, and although language with its multiple levels of abstractions makes it challenging to pinpoint some agreeable ideas about 'human nature', I want to give it a shot.

The black-and-white perspective on human nature seems most popular, describing humans as inherently 'good' or inherently 'evil'. I guess most peoples experience rather shows them that some people act without the intent of harming others, and other do. Of course, even 'bad' people do some 'good', and vice versa. Using the black-and-white approach fails from the start to provide a framework that could be backed up by experience, no matter how much one wishes for people to fit into this worldview.

Modern psychology uses the Bell curve as a tool to describe the distribution of human traits. This approach seems much more appropriate to approach 'human nature' than the moralistic ideas lingering around in the dualistic approach of either 'good' or 'evil'.

Bell curve (normal distribution)

A lot of the categories we use in language compare to boxes, especially if we think in mutually exclusive categories (good/evil). Let's put the thinking in boxes aside for a while, and take the above image as a better representation of human nature, with potentially 'good' and 'evil' on the flat ends of the curve. If an axis 'willingness to do harm' exists in human nature, only a few percent fall into the extremes of psychopathy or saints, the rest will simply do whatever they perceive as 'normal'.

The origin of the idea of government, however, links back to the idea that humans can't be trusted, and need protection from each other. This meme spread first via religion (born in original sin), and was then happily reinforced by more secular forms of government which basically acted like parents for entire populations. The expressions 'fatherland' and 'motherland' remind us of the generally parental character of nationhood. 

As humans, we are individual expressions of consciousness, sui generis, and as such share some elementary needs. Besides that, we are pretty unpredictable most of the time, which makes life so interesting. A minority of humans lacks the ability of empathise, and therefor feels no remorse when harming others. How we can we deal with those individuals?

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. In tribal societies, shamans held the responsibility to identify those individuals, and prevent them from harming the rest of the group. People with psychopathic predisposition don't turn automatically into monsters, and can still fulfil useful functions within their community. You might have noticed the absence of shamans in modern society, which happened unlikely just coincidentally.

Without anyone in the position to identify and keep psychopaths in check, they can basically do whatever they like. After killing or removing shamans as safe guards for communities, they could spread fear with impunity. And they used the fear they spread to demand even more power and less control for themselves. 

Has anyone ever wondered why an individual murderer bears the full brunt of punishment society can offer, while president Obama signs off kill list as regular routine task? We live in a world run by psychopaths, which used violence to implement systems of government that create heaven on Earth for themselves and other psychopaths. Being only a minority, this means hell for the rest of us. 

As a majority of humanity can be described as relative gullible, they perpetuate this mad system that harms the rest of humanity, many other forms of life on this planet and the planet itself. This has several motivations. (hey, we're all individuals), which potentially collapse into the erratic believe that human nature is inherently 'good' or 'evil'. As long as we believe in the validity of this construct, psychopath will maintain control over the rest of the population.

If ones believe that we're inherently 'good', then she/he will fall for any intentional lie. If government harms the environment or other people, it is 'for the greater good'. If one believes that we're inherently 'evil', their fear will ask for protection, even from themselves. Just when one understands that we cannot generalise this aspect of human nature, the opportunity arises to reign in the psychopathic elements in society without converting it into a prison for all but the psychopaths.

Humans can adapt probably better than any other species to their environment. Humanity survived much longer without the illusion of government than with it. Well, maybe we managed to get to this historical water shed moment before, and just wiped out the memory of it by nearly extinguishing our species. We have seemingly unlimited learning potential, as individuals and as community. We can create a world that shares the resources of this planet, and allows 100% of humanity to survive and prosper. 

If we don't do it, the cosmos might giggle in schadenfreude about the failed human experiment, or feel sad about its end, or remain equanimous as the universe continues to exist.  

Orenda

And so I decided to surrender

to a state known as orenda

named by an indigenous culture,

which was far from vulgar.

It's our divine spark,

which makes its mark,

in how we affect change,

and let all things rearrange.

It's a mythical force,

fruits of cosmic spores

to let us live in light

and to know what's right.

Will I find someone on this path

liberated from their personal wrath?

Accidental news exposure

By quite some coincidence,

just don't give it any relevance,

I watched the TV news today,

which lead my mind astray.

I heard the prime minister rant

we in Canberra can do what we want,

within in the law, within the law,

clinging to a desperate straw.

Parliament makes law, nothing else,

yet fascism puts on its hipster belts,

with a leader turned into a dictator,

obvious to the attentive narrator.

Yet I wonder if anyone will care,

or wait for yet another nightmare.

Warm and windy winter day with QFA63

Lineclouds appearing in the sky,

creating clouds not wet but dry,

you can watch them disappearing

to disguise the trace of geo-engineering.

Soon after witnessing another blaze

they melt into the typical white haze

that cover our skies once bright blue,

and prevents the sun from reaching you.

Certainly, that can't bring any harm?

It's just a little bit unnaturally warm,

bees and many trees are slowly dying,

but the powers that be wouldn't be lying?

Wake up to the world of today,

trust me, everything is okay.

There's no place like home

All that we need exists abundant,

yet I still feel a bit redundant.

Maybe I just shouldn't care

about those unable to share fair.

The universe will be the provider

of the experiences I need to grow,

so I learn to connect into the flow

and cease acting as the decider.

All roads lead to Rome -

as long as I keep travelling

fate continues its unravelling

to find a place called home.

The waiting will find its end,

once I find some helping hand.

Rainy day in June

My future seems uncertain like never before,

and my brain and bones feel pretty sore.

I love myself just when hating me

so tired of the game of wait and see.

All of my ambitious aspiration

has turned into bouts of desperation

while I acquired much more unity

I lack the sense of community.

A single cell of a large organism

that drifts one more time into fascism

I wonder - am I cancer or cure?

But I never can be sure,

how to play the game of life,

for as long as I survive.

No time for doubt

I decided to let go,

to dive into the flow,

to follow my heart,

for a fresh, new start.

O how i admire

those without desire

for a specific form

which fits into the norm.

Now I'm drifting,

need some uplifting.

It's freedom I won,

yet certainty is gone.

So I embrace the present

as a gift, with no resent.